The lockdown has now changed our lives for a little over 3 months and if on the surface there is reason to think that “everything is fine”, by scratching a little, it appears that this is not always the case. Domestic violence increased by 30% and divorces, the same!
Indeed, this forced rapprochement is not always easy. For most families, this is probably the first time that they have had to stay with each other, almost 24 hours a day.
If you are one of the couples who have a little or a lot of problems going through this forced rapprochement, I have a question for you. When the tension goes up, what do you do? Do you tend to withdraw and swallow your reaction and pretend that nothing is happening? Or do you want to calm down and put a lid on the tension? Or jump on your partner or the person in front of you? If your answer to one of these questions is “yes”, here is what I suggest.
When tension rises at home: first of all, look around you, notice the different things in the environment: a wall, a table, the floor, a vase, etc. ; notice them, touch them. Why? To get out of confusion. If that’s not enough, go for a walk and look around noticing everything which is out there. The goal is not to get stuck in the moment of tension, but to come back to the present time in order to see things better. Then, when you get home, start finding one thing you like, then another, and another and another until you find an affinity for that and those around you. And then, to look at your partner or your children, keeping your love for them, to really see that there is another person there who has his own ideas and reactions and to help him also feel better by putting his attention out to objects that are there now. This can be done as a game, by indicating objects, plants, animals, colors, etc.
And when everyone is more present, set a goal, something to achieve during the day, the week, the month depending on the goal.
In this crisis situation, constructive creativity and imagination are the “weapons” that will make the difference in the state in which we will find ourselves in a while. Stay tuned for more advice that will bring positive change.